Nigel & Rachel oneshots
by buddygirl1004
Summary: a tribute to RMXNU!
1. Chapter 1

Speak now

We do not own this song or KND

I looked down at the invite. 'You are invited by the groom to Mr. Nigel James Uno and Miss Elizabeth 'Lizzy' Beatrice Devine's wedding on December 15, 2010 at 6:00. I still don't know why Nigel would marry that girl. She's more trouble that Father on a bad day. I looked at my self in the mirror. I was clad in a pink dress that stopped at my knee's and I was wearing the pink opal necklace that Nigel got me for my 18th birthday. After doing a quick mental checklist I exited my house and drove to the church.

_I am not the kind of girl_

_Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion_

_But you are not the kind of boy_

_Who should be marrying the wrong girl_

I walked in and immediately found Abby and Hoagie and their daughter

Amy, Kuki and Wally with the quads Yuki, Suki, Lili, and Willi, and

Fanny and Patton's twin son's Sam and Dan. I sat next to to Kuki. She

leaned over and whispered.

"Thank god Rachel, with you hear Nigel may not go through with this."

I whispered back. "I hope so Kuki, I hope so."

_I sneak in and see your friends, and her snotty little family_

_All dressed in pastel_

I heard yelling come from the back room she was screaming at her cousin who had put her hair up wrong. I groaned, drama queen.

_And she is yelling at a bridesmaid, somewhere back inside a room_

_Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry_

I watched as Nigel walked into the Church and went to stand up front. He looked like he'd seen better days. His eyes met mine and he gave a weak smile. I smiled back and mouthed. "I love you." his eyes brightened and nodded and mouthed "I love you, too."

_This is surely not what you thought it would be_

_I lose myself in a daydream where I stand and say_

_Don't say yes, run away now_

_I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the backdoor_

_Don't wait or say a single vow_

_You need to hear me out and they said speak now_

Wally assumed his position as best man while Abby held Lili and Willi. He nodded reluctantly toward the organ player and he started some song that sounded like someone going on death row.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

_Fun gestures are exchanged_

_And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march_

_And I am hiding in the curtains_

_It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be_

Hoagie said it would be funny if I used my old bubblegum gun and shot her but I turned it down. It was in my other purse.

_She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen_

_But I know you wish it was m_e, _you wish_ _it was me_

_Don't you?_

I saw Nigel look at Lizzy then at me almost pleading me to stop this I simply nodded.

_Don't say yes, run away now_

_I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the backdoor_

_Don't wait or say a single vow_

_You need to hear me out and they said speak now_

_Don't say yes, run away now_

_I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the backdoor_

_Don't wait or say a single vow_

_Your time is running out and they said speak now_

_I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace_

_There's the silence, there's my last chance_

_I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me_

_Horrified looks from everyone in the room_

_But I'm only looking at you_

I stood up my hands shaking as I looked at Nigel and Lizzy. She seemed

pissed. I spoke.

"I love you Nigel." he seemed lost for words but walked over to me and kissed me.

"I love you too Rachel."

Lizzy stormed out of the church furious.

_I am not the kind of girl_

_Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion_

_But you are not the kind of boy_

_Who should be marrying the wrong girl_

_Don't say yes, run away now_

_I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the backdoor_

_Don't wait or say a single vow_

_You need to hear me out and they said speak now_

_And you say lets run away now_

_I'll meet when I'm out of my tux at the backdoor_

_Baby I didn't say my vows, so glad you were around_

_When they said 'Speak now'_

4 moths past and it was Rachel and Nigel's wedding the priest spoke

"Speak now or forever hold you peace."

"I OBJECT!" everyone groaned at seeing Lizzy. "Nigel you can still take me back I still-"

"GO HOME LIZZY!" shouted Nigel, Rachel, Fanny, Patton, Kuki, Wally, Abby, Hoagie, and surprisingly the priest.

Everyone looked at Father Harvey, which was of course Rachel's little brother. "What! I ever liked the chick." everyone laughed.

"Ok no objections."

"Hey I said I OBJECT!" shouted Lizzy but she had gotten on everyone's last nerves and Wally and Hoagie walked down the isle grabbed her elbows and dragged her happy ass out of the church.

"Wait WHAT ARE YOU DOING I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE IT'S IN MY RIGHTS!" she shouted.

But Wally being the genius he is spoke. "Yea well your a public pain in our rear, plus you don't have an invite, so SCRAM!" Lizzy huffed and walked out of the church.

The boys walked back in.

"Now that that's taken care of-" said Wally."

"Let's get this wedding started!" shouted Hoagie which earned a few chuckles.

Harvey spoke "You may kiss my sister Nigel."

"Oh cool I get permission from you that's great!" said Nigel as he kissed Rachel.

The end!

Yes it has to do with WR. Happy ending. Ok the drawing contest applies

but there will be three winners you have exactly 1 week maybe more, to

submit your drawings for the contest! You have until Christmas and we will post the winner's


	2. Chapter 2

The story of Nigel and Lizzy

I looked at the picture of me and Nigel. I was all smiles but his smile looked fake. I sighed.

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us How we met and the sparks flew instantly People would say, "they're the lucky ones"

I always thought I belonged right next to Nigel

I used to know my place was a spot next to you Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat 'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

I knew something was up at my sisters wedding he kept running off and every time time was with some blonde hair bimbo.

Oh, a simple complication Miscommunications lead to fall out So many things that I wish you knew So many walls up I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone In a crowded room And we're not speaking

I saw Nigel keep throwing glances at the blonde bimbo, my blood boiled.

And I'm dying to know Is it killing you Like it's killing me? I don't know what to say Since a twist of fate When it all broke down

He though I wasn't there but I saw him and her! I saw him hold her hand.

And the story of us Looks a lot like a tragedy now Next chapter

How'd we end up this way? See me nervously pulling at my clothes And trying to look busy And you're doing your best to avoid me

He kept looking at that blonde bimbo, I had half a mind to walk right up to her and smack the shit out of her. But I had to calm down.

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us How I was losing my mind when I saw you here But you held your pride like you should have held me Oh, we're scared to see the ending Why are we pretending this is nothing?

Using my binoculars that I um borrowed from hi tree house, I saw him and that blonde bimbo eating meatloaf sandwiches!

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standing alone In a crowded room

And we're not speaking And I'm dying to know Is it killing you Like it's killing me? I don't know what to say Since a twist of fate When it all broke down And the story of us Looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest Of who can act like they care less

He seemed to be ignoring every word I said, I looked around and sure enough their was that blonde bimbo sitting a couple of tables down, talking to some Asian girl, a redhead, and a girl with a red hat, I recognized them as Nigel's friends. They seemed to LIKE her! Why her I am way better than that blonde bimbo!

But I liked it better when you were on my side The battle's in your hands now But I would lay my armor down If you'd say you'd rather love than fight

I finally figured it out, he loved her.

So many things that you wish I knew But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone In a crowded room And we're not speaking And I'm dying to know Is it killing you Like it's killing me? I don't know what to say Since a twist of fate When it all broke down And the story of us Looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now And we're not speaking And I'm dying to know Is it killing you Like it's killing me? I don't know what to say Since a twist of fate 'cause we're going down And the story of us Looks a lot like a tragedy now

I sat alone at the dance as I looked up I saw Nigel and The Blonde Bimbo dancing to Taylor Swift's The Story of Us, he deserved to be happy. Then I saw him, the most handsome man in the world. He walked over to the blonde girl, Chanel I think or was it Rylie? I don't know. He talked to her, she hugged him and he left. Whatever.

This is the story of Nigel and The blonde bimbo, not me and Nigel or Me and the cute blonde.

The end hope Lizzy's in character...


	3. Chapter 3

You belong with me

No own KND

Taylor Swift

You Belong With Me Lyrics

Artist: Taylor Swift lyrics

Title: You Belong With Me

I looked out my window and into Nigel's he was pacing back and forth yelling into his phone. He hung up.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend,

She's upset

She's going off about something that you said

She doesnt get your humour like I do

I picked up our phone cups. It seemed silly, 16 and we still have phone cups, but we had them since we were kids so we never bothered to take them down.

I picked it up and spoke. "Nigel?"

His eyes brightened, picked up the cup. "Hey Rachel."

"Whats going on this time?"

"She has the worst sense of humor I told her a redhead joke and she got all pissy with me."

"What was the joke?" I asked.

"Don't tell it to Fanny." he warned.

I laughed. "Please I value my life now about that joke."

"Well you know she got plastered and drunk beyond belief." I nodded, the image of Lizzy dancing on a table in her cheerleading uniform holding a bottle of Vodka she had snuck into the tree house. "Yea well I told her that she's like every other red head out their, they cant hold their drink down, which got her infuriated with me." I laughed.

"Hey I got to go Nigel, big test tomorrow."

"Ok Rach."

I hung up and turned up my radio my favorite song was playing. It was You Belong With Me, by Taylor Swift. I chuckled. "You got that right Tay, Nigel does belong with me." Lizzy hated country so I made it a point for every time I saw her to play country music really loudly.

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night

I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like

And she'll never know your story like I do

I stayed up late that night thinking. What does she got that I don't? She's captain of the cheerleaders I'm captain of the Science Team. She wears heels I where sneakers She wears really short skirts, I where jeans and a t-shirt.

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts

She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers

Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find

That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me

You belong with me

We went for one of our walks. He was always different without Lizzy and with me. We just talked and I saw his smile that I hardly ever saw now a days.

Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans

I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself

Hey isnt this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town

I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down

You say you find I know you better than that

Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?

I was sitting on the bleachers, Nigel was quarterback. I looked over at Lizzy, who was walking away with the second line quarterback. She was cheating on him!

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers

She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers

Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me

It was the day of the dance and I was sitting on my bed.

"Rachel," I picked up my phone cup.

"Nigel," I replied.

"You commin to the dance?"

"No sorry, Proof test tomorrow Miss Dud is a bitch for making us have a test on the night of the dance, and we just learned this today."

"Come on Rachel, your one of the smartest kids in out class."

"Yea with Kuki and Wally, but Wally's a genius so that doesn't count!"

"Fine Rachel, if your up I'll string you." string you was our saying for telling each other when we'd use the phone cups, now it just sounds wrong."

Standin by, waiting at your back door

All this time how could you not know that?

You belong with me

You belong with me

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry

I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams

I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

I stared at my clock, then at my closet where I had my one dress in it. It was a baby blue,the same as my eyes, strapless, with a sweetheart neckline, it went strait until it reaches my hips where it would pan out and become one of those beautiful ball gowns that people wore. I wore my long mid back blonde hair in ringlets. I applied some blue eye shadow and black mascara. I put on my blue opal earrings that Nigel bought me for my birthday.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door

All this time how could you not know that

You belong with me

You belong with me

I went to the dance, and found Nigel arguing with Lizzy, yet again. He stormed off, saw me and walk toward me.

"Hey Rach," he said.

I took a deep breath. "I love you," I whispered to him.

His lips captured mine. "I love you too, Rach."

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with me


	4. Chapter 4

New Years

Don't own KND

Short and sweat New Years chapter. Note important AN at the bottom. Please read.

All of the TND and the KND was up in moonbase, getting ready to celebrate the new year.

Rachel, also known as numbuh 362, supreme leader of the T/KND walked up on stage wearing a blue dress with orange stripes, and tapped the mic. "Hey-testing one-two-three." no one was listening they were all caught up in their own conversations.

Fanny took a deep. She was wearing a long green cocktail dress. She walked up the stairs and took the mic from Rachel. "HEY SHUT UP!" she yelled. Right away people quieted down. "Thank you." she said and gave the mic back to Rachel.

"Now everyone, it's time for the countdown to the new year for the K/TND." there was a round of applause as Rachel walked down the stairs and met up with her boyfriend, Nigel Uno, leader of the TND Sector V.

The big TV turned on and the countdown began.

"TEN,"

"NINE,"

"EIGHT,"

"SEVEN,"

"SIX,"

"FIVE,"

"FOUR,"

"THREE,"

"TWO,"

"ONE,"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everyone shouted. Nigel leaned down and kissed Rachel, who kissed back.

"Happy New Year, Rachel." said Nigel looking into her brown eyes.

"Happy New Year, Nigel." Rachel said.

And Happy New Year to all of you readers so REVIEW! Now on to a more serous note. If you are 21(and if your one of those stupid teenagers (you know who you are!) please do not drink and drive tomorrow, if you've seen our profile our mom's BFF, Athena, was killed in a drunk driving accident. She was sober, the other person was not. So please think be you drink. We will post this after every chapter we post today and tomorrow.


	5. Lizzy the Liar

**Don't own this song or the KND. Sorry it's half in Spanish- were south American and we have allot Spanish music in our IPhone and we just love this with Nigel and Lizzy so enjoy! We will put in what it means in bold [ ] so enjoy!**

Okay so quick overview, Nigel and Lizzy are marrired(Yea we dont like this but hey! He's going to go to Rachel! So now enjoy!

"I still can't believe your doing this Nigie!" complained Lizzy.

"Hey Lizzy." said Nigel.

"What?" she asked hoping that he was calling it off.

"Shut up!" said Nigel as they walked into the courtroom. He looked around thankful that most of his friends had gone into law. Hoagie was the judge and Rachel was the court reporter.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilliagan the second!" said court marshall Wally Beatles, as Nigel stood with his lawyer, Kuki Beatles, who was sporting a bulge at her stomach.

"Order order, you may be seated." said Hoagie banging the hammer on his desk. "Nigel your first." Nigel walked up to the stand where Wally placed a bible.

"Place your right hand on the bible." Nigel did as he was told. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"Yea." said Nigel. He sat on at the seat and Hoagie spoke.

"So Nigel Monty Uno, you have filed for a divorce against Elizabeth Rachel Devine Uno?" he asked.

"That is correct, your honor." said Nigel.

"Care to explain what bought this on, besides that obvious begging of your friends?" Nigel laughed.

"Gladly." he said and he began looking at Lizzy.

"Check this out, guys tenemos tremendo lio**[I have a tremendous mess]**

last night you didn't go a la casa de tu tio **[to your Uncle's house]** resultase,** [Proves]** hey you were at a party

higher than than the sky emborrachada de Bacardi**[Drunk on Bacardi] **

"No I wasn't Nigel!" yelled Lizzy, the judge gave her a dirty look and told her to be seated, motioning Nigel to countine.

I bet you didn't know que conoci al cantinero **[that I knew the bartender]**

"What?" asked Lizzy.

He told me that you were drinking, and wasting my dinero**[$$$]**

Talking about, come and enjoy what a woman gives a hombre**[Man]**

now I really wanna ask ya, que si es verdad**[If it's true]**

"Would I lie?" asked Lizzy innocently.

Nigel continued "and please por favor**[please]**, tell me la verdad**[the truth]**

because I really need to know yeah necesito entender**[need to understand]** If you're gonna be a player, or be my mujer**[women]** cause right now you're just a liar, a straight mentirosa **[liar]**

"Who me?" asked Lizzy.

Today you tell me something, y mañana otra cosaan **[another thing tomorrow]**

I remember the day, que tu me decia**[that you told me]** Time and time again que tu me querias**[ you told me I want you] **

"I do!" cried out Lizzy once again.

"Mrs. Uno if you cannot keep your mouth shut I will approve this divorce faster that you can say what." said the judge. Lizzy sat down in a huff.

Nigel continued "and at the time, hey! yo te creia porque no sabia that you where a relambia.**[I thought that because you did not know WHERE to relambia]** You and Jimmy y Menganito, Maurice y Chad Harvey, and Paddy, y then his brother Shaunny(?)**[You and Jimmy and-so, and Maurice Chad, and Paddy, and Then His brother Shaunny] **si quieres un pedacito go her way cause she's a pleasa**[if you want a bit go her way cause she's a pleas]**

But I'll tell ya, straight up porque broder me di de cuenta**[because you bother me for the account]** That on Main Street her cuerpo estaba a la venta

Now get some el que quiera, get some cualquiera Hey yo, she don't care man, she's a tremenda fiera**[body was on sale**

Now who wants to get some, get some any Hey yo, she do not care man, she gots huge breasts]

Yeah, you're hot to try and out to get what I got Pero ya que te conosco what I got I guess not (porque)

Cause you're just a mentirosa con tu lengua venenosa**[But since I know you What I got I guess not (because) Cause you're just a liar with your venomous tongue]**

Today you tell me somethin y mañana otra cosa**[another thing tomorrow]**

Nigel spoke looking at Lizzy"Girl, I can't believe you. You know my mother's talking about me, my friends are talking about me. Not me about you."

"About me?" Asked Lizzy placing a hand on her chest.

"You're nothing but a skeezer, Lizzy"

"A skeezer? Don't be calling me no skeezer!"

"Si eres tremenda fletera mami uhuh la verdad."** [If you tremendous fletera truth mami uhuh]**

"Uhuh eso es que tu te piensas" **[Uhuh that you think im yous]**

"I bet you go to church and you're scared to confess."

"No, I do confess Nigie. I do confess." said Lizzy

"Uh huh. Do you tell the truth, though?"

"Yeah I do."

"Yeah right."

"Do you?"

"Yeah! You're nothing but a skeezer you know what? I got some other stories to say about you. And it goes like this."

Un dia estaba en tu casa y**[One day I was at home] **ring, there goes the phone Recojiste y dijiste **[You Collect and said]** call me back, I'm not alone

El queria tu direccion**[He wanted your address]**, yeah just your address y ante que colgaste**[And before you hung up] **I heard you say I'll wear a dress

Ay, alabao' que descar'a** [Oh, Alabao 'to discharge' a]** is what ran through my mind So I said let's go out tonight She said we go out all the time! Alabao' man!

Ella no sabia that yo,**[That she did not know that]** I knew her plan de que iba a salir**[Was to leave]** with that other man So I told the girl in spanish I said hey! Ya me voy"

"Pero porque?" asked Lizzy.

**[I'm going, but why?]** Cause you ain't treating me like I'm some sucker toy Cause who needs you anyway

"I need you Nigel!" she said.

"Con tu lengua venenosa" said Nigel.

"No te vayes Nigel no te vayes, yo te necesito!

**[your venomous tongue Do not go Nigel vayes vayes, I need you!]**

Today you tell me something, y manana otra cosa." said Nigel.

"But!" Lizzy tried to protest.

"Tsk, Mentirosa!" said Nigel and walked off the stand to sit back down next to Kuki.** [and tomorrow something else tsk! Liar!]**

Well that was convincing, I hereby approve the divorce!" shouted Hoagie.

**REVIEW! **


	6. Nigel AKA 'Superman'

**Don't own KND or Song.**

Thought this would fit, Rachel was there when Nigel went into Space. We changed most of the lyrics to fit Rachel and Nigel, enjoy!

_Tall dark and supermanly_

He puts things in his bag and flies away

To save the world or do his job

It's the same thing to me

Hes got his mothers eyes his fathers ambition

I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him

And I know every word that you say, yay

You smile and say how are you

I say just fine

I always forget to tell you, I love you, I love you ... forever

I watched from a ledge as Nigel said goodbye to his friends, wishing I was down there to tell him how I felt. I never told him I loved him.

_I watched superman fly away_

You've got busy days ahead

To save the world ill be around

I watched superman fly away

Come back ill be with you someday

Ill be right here on the ground

When you come back down

I knew Nigel was to return, I just didn't know when, but I will wait for him.

_Talk dark and beautiful_

Hes complicated hes so irrational

But I hope someday you take me away and save the day, yeeeeahhh

Something in his deep brown eyes has me sayin Hes not as bad like his, reputation

I can't hear one single word they say, yay

You really got places to be and I'll be okay

I always forget to tell you I love you I loved you from the very first 

Everyone always judged him on who he was. The son of Numbuh 0 and 999, the best operative in the KND, the nephew of the KND's arch foe; Father, the grandson of the most feared villian in the KND; Granfather, the Delightful Dorks' adoptive cousin, but to me he was just Nigel.

_I watched superman fly away_

You've got busy days ahead

To save the world I'll be around

I watched superman fly away

Come back I'll be with you someday

Ill be right here on the ground When you come back down

And I watch you fly around the universe

And I hope you dont save some other girl

dont forget, dont forget about me

Im far away but i'll never let you go

Im lovestruck and looking up at the sky

Dont forget dont forget where ill be

Right here wishing the flowers were from you

Wishing the card was from you

Wishing the call was from you

Cause I loved you from the very first day

I watched superman fly away

You've got busy days ahead to save the world

I'll be around forever and ever

I watched superman fly away

I swear I'll be with you someday

I'll be right here on the ground When you come back down

La, la, la

When you come back down

I smiled as I saw the boy I loved walk out of the ship. He had been gone for 15 years.

"NIGEL!" I yelled running up to him and embracing him.

"Rachel." he said and I felt his hand brush my long hair. I knew I had to say it.

"I love you Nigel." I said.

"I love you too Rachel." he replied and the next thing I knew his lips were on mine.

**REVIEW!**


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